


You know that I could use somebody

by caitthecursed



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Relationship Negotiation, Teenage Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-22
Updated: 2013-12-22
Packaged: 2018-01-05 12:04:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1093674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caitthecursed/pseuds/caitthecursed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gansey muffled a grunt in his pillow. “This seems like an awful lot of trouble just because his girlfriend can’t go down on him.” </p><p>Or, five ways they don't work, and one way they do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You know that I could use somebody

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sadlikeknives](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadlikeknives/gifts).



> Happy yule! I was really excited to get your prompts, and I hope I've done them justice. Many thanks to my wonderful betas, and to everyone who held my hand and listened to my griping. Viva la OT5!

I.

It started because Adam was beautiful when he was sad. Blue spent a lot of time looking at him, wishing her touch could wipe away the lines of tension between his brows and the dark circles under his eyes. Adam slowly learned to accept the attention, although she suspected it had more to do with him being a bit touch-starved.

They were sitting with Ronan and Chainsaw on Adam’s bed, hiding from the Henrietta sun. Adam’s arm was looped around Blue’s waist, his fingers seeking out the bare skin where her shirt rode up. Being touched there made Blue shiver pleasantly, and she wondered where Adam’s hand would be if Ronan wasn’t in the room.

“Fuck,” Ronan grumbled. “It’s hot as Satan’s balls in here. I thought we were in a church?” Chainsaw chirped in agreement, and Blue felt Adam laugh. 

“You could go somewhere with air conditioning,” Adam said. 

The look he gave her completed the sentence: _and give us some privacy._ Blue felt herself blush.

It wasn’t that she didn’t like having sex with Adam. When he had his mind in the right place, there was nothing she liked better. But Adam’s mind wasn’t always in the right place, and it had gotten worse since the sacrifice. Blue was still getting comfortable with male anatomy—she didn’t know what to do when even cuddling seemed to freak him out.

“I can’t believe you’d fuck in this heat,” Ronan said. “Is it because your mommy and daddy made you in a shitty, sweltering trailer?”

“Ronan!” Blue flushed with anger. She felt Adam stroke her waist.

“My birthday’s in July, so I wasn’t conceived in the summer. And I’d prefer it if you didn’t make those kind of remarks around Blue.”

She was mildly annoyed at being spoken for, but at least Adam cared that she was offended. Blue turned and rested her forehead against Adam’s shoulder.

“If I could, I’d kiss you right now.”

“If I could, I’d let you.” 

It was a rare moment of vulnerability from Adam, heightened by Ronan’s presence. Blue wanted to scream, and she wanted Adam to reach out to her for comfort rather than sex, and she wanted to kiss away every line on his face until he felt safe and loved. 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

With more tenderness than Blue thought he was capable of, Ronan held the back of Adam’s neck and pressed his mouth against Adam’s hair. Ronan’s lashes were long and dark against his cheeks. Adam had his eyes shut too, but eventually he let out a shaky breath and relaxed into Ronan’s grip. Something warm and soft settled in Blue’s chest.

Ronan pulled away and reached for the can of Coke on Adam’s desk, but not before Blue saw the flush on his throat. “Now you can both quit moaning about it. Repeat performances available upon request, but only with proven demand.”

Adam glanced over at Blue. “Proven demand?”

Ronan shrugged. “If you look like you need to be kissed. Blue, have you got anything to add?”

“As long as it’s okay with Adam.” She brushed his hair away from his eyes. His skin was damp with sweat, but she didn’t mind. The heat made her hungry for touch, and the look Adam was giving her stoked the warmth building in her stomach.

Without looking away from her, Adam spoke. “What if I need more than a peck on the forehead?”

Blue’s face went bright red. 

Adam had a habit of biting things when he was really worked up. After, his lips were often red and swollen from being chewed on. Blue didn’t have strong feelings about making out, but when Adam looked at her with flushed cheeks and parted lips, her self-control wavered.

Ronan barked out a laugh. “You should’ve said something, man.” He flipped onto Adam’s lap, shoving his knee between Adam and Blue. His leg pressed against her and pinned her skirt to the bed, so that she couldn’t have moved away even if she wanted to.

Blue wasn’t sure she wanted to.

With both hands on Adam’s face, Ronan pressed their lips together. It started out careful, almost shy, but then Ronan’s mouth started moving and Adam’s hands came up to trace Ronan’s spine. It was a lazy, sensual kiss, punctuated by wet noises that Blue probably should’ve found disgusting. 

She could tell when Ronan got his tongue involved, because Adam made a surprised noise and dug his nails into Ronan’s back. He did that to her sometimes, when she did something interesting with her internal muscles. Blue had the distant realization that the noise was no longer hers alone, and that she didn’t care.

Ronan pulled away and latched onto Adam’s neck. “I think—” Blue said, at the same time Adam gasped out “You should—”

Ronan sat up. His lips were red and shiny, and Blue’s stomach twisted. “Blue first.”

Well, her face was already on fire. “I think you should give Adam a blowjob.”

Adam’s breathing hitched. “I think Blue should touch herself.”

In any other situation, Ronan’s smile would be terrifying. It was a bit terrifying in this situation. “Fucking hell, I love you guys. Let me go put the baby outside.”

He scooped up Chainsaw and brought her to the front door. Adam stretched out on his back and pulled Blue down to lie next to him.

“You’re okay with this, right?” she asked. “I mean, you’ve never said anything about liking boys.”

“Like I’d turn down a blowjob. Ronan’s filthy mouth has to be good for something.”

Blue wasn’t sure she accepted that, but since she was inexperienced in both oral and gay sex, she wasn’t in a position to argue. “Well, I’ll put on a good show so you don’t have to look at him.”

Adam laughed. “You should still do that, but don’t be offended if my eyes wander.”

For some reason, that made Blue squirm. Adam tangled his fingers with hers. “Didn’t know you were into that,” he said, a smile sneaking across his face. “You don’t need both hands, do you?”

Ronan came back inside, visibly hard in his shorts. He looked down at Adam like he wanted to eat him alive.

“No,” Blue said, slipping her free hand under her skirt. “I don’t.”

 

II.

If anyone could make getting sucked off feel like torture, it was Ronan Lynch. It wasn't any of his cherry-stem tongue tricks, although he had many and they were all terrible. The thing about Ronan was that he seemed totally in control with a dick halfway down his throat, so that Adam felt like the one being split open.

It bothered Adam, and it bothered him that he was bothered. Blue had grown up speaking a language of comforting touches and emotional intimacy, and it was the only language she could speak with him. Adam tried, he let Blue explore his scars and rub the tension from his shoulders and capture him in tight hugs, but gentle didn't fit on him. Every time he laid himself bare for her, he came out of it hungry for something else. 

Now, when sex meant being at the mercy of two stubborn lovers determined to make him unravel, he felt like he was coming out of his skin more days than not.

“Adam, can I ask you a question?”

Blue was sprawled on her bed, still boneless and breathing hard. All of Blue’s relatives were at work and Ronan was off breaking the law somewhere.

“Yeah, I guess.” After disposing of the condom, Adam sat at the end of the bed. Blue ran her foot along the side of his leg. 

“Are you struggling with your sexuality?”

Adam was tempted to laugh. “Would I let Lynch suck me off if I were some kind of homophobe?”

“I didn’t say anything about homophobia.” She was starting to shiver, so Adam grabbed his shirt off the floor and threw it to her. “It’s just that since you guys started fooling around, you seem more intense when you’re with me. Like you need to prove that you still like girls.”

She popped her head through the neck of the shirt, mussing her hair further. Adam’s fingers itched to tug on it. 

“Trust me, you don’t need to worry about it. I’ve always liked girls, and I’m not going to stop now.” He ran his hand up her smooth calf. “Especially this girl here.”

“I never said I was worried about it.” Blue leaned into his hand. This was her favorite part, the warm, sleepy touching that didn’t necessarily build to anything more. Adam found it frustrating.

Nudging Blue out of the way, he lay down next to her. His hand found the dip of her waist and traced it over her hip, then down her thigh past the hem of his shirt. She looked painfully good in it, and Adam didn’t know whether it was her emphasized smallness or the swell of her breasts or the fact that she was wearing something that belonged to him. Before he said something he’d regret, he moved his hand to the inside of Blue’s thigh.

In moments like this, when Adam was drowsy from coming and could focus on every sigh and quiver from Blue, his mind was blissfully clear. Blue didn’t talk during sex, not if Adam was doing a good job, and it was one of the few ways he could give her exactly what she wanted with no compromises. When she was gasping under him, Adam didn’t have to worry about saying the wrong thing. The questions Blue’s mother would ask when she got home, and the pitying look Blue would give him when he didn’t have the right answer, were dim concerns next to the way Blue clenched around his fingers. 

Eventually, her mother did come home, and by the time Adam left it was half past seven and he was full of lemonade and fresh pecan pie. Being around Blue’s family made him ache in ways he thought he knew how to ignore, but as he watched Maura Sargent caress her daughter’s shoulder where Adam’s nails had been digging earlier, the loss felt as immediate as a bruised rib.

Adam took out his phone as soon as the door of 300 Fox Way shut behind him, and there was a black BMW waiting for him in the parking lot of St. Agnes’s.

“Merry Christmas, baby.” Ronan pulled a beer from inside his jacket and pressed it against Adam’s chest. It was still cold.

“Have you been drinking already?” He pushed the beer back into Ronan’s hand and elbowed past him to unlock the door. Yellow light flooded across the floor, and Adam didn’t bother to hit the light switch.

“Didn’t want to start the fun without you.” Ronan popped the cap off and tossed it in the general direction of the trash can. The press of his lips around the bottle and the way his throat worked as he swallowed made Adam’s blood pound, as if he hadn’t just spent two hours in bed with his girlfriend. 

“Fun for one. I didn’t invite you over so I could watch you get shitfaced.”

“I know, I know. Come here, get your shirt off.” Ronan’s voice was slurred and dangerous, and Adam realized that he hadn’t actually answered the question. Ronan’s hands were warm and insistent, alternating with the cold press of the beer bottle. 

With far less care than he’d ever shown Blue, Adam shoved Ronan against the wall. He tasted like beer and danger and Adam’s own adrenaline. They kissed for about half a second before Adam’s hand was down the front of Ronan’s jeans.

“Oh, fuck.” Ronan’s voice was shaky with pleasure, but the hands pushing against Adam’s chest made Adam fling himself backwards until they weren’t touching. 

Ronan slumped against the wall, but his eyes were alert and steady. Adam could already hear it, _what’s going on with you_ and _let’s talk about this_ and _tell me what you need, Adam_. He didn’t think he could stand hearing it from Ronan, and he felt with sick certainty that it would ruin whatever thing they had with each other.

But Ronan just set his bottle on the ground. “Look, man, I came here for booze and cock. And I’ve already had my booze.” He shrugged off his jacket and dumped it on the floor. “If you need to shove me around a little to get your head back on straight, I won’t pretend not to like it.”

It was the most honesty Adam could reasonably expect, and it reassured him even as he felt vaguely disappointed. He stepped forward and closed the space between their bodies again, kissing Ronan hard and deep the way he ached to kiss Blue. He bit Ronan’s neck, earning a gasp.

“Get on your knees,” Adam said. Ronan smiled, the closest Adam had ever seen to a genuine expression from him, and went down.

 

III.

Monmouth Manufacturing was always a hotbed of tension, but this was ridiculous. If Ronan wasn’t getting laid, he went on mysterious late night drives, got absolutely plastered, and stomped around like he wanted to set the building on fire. If Ronan _was_ getting laid, Gansey chewed his pens to mangled stubs, lazed in bed listening to The Smiths, and tried to survive on coffee and Pop Tarts. Odds were high that either Adam and Gansey or Blue and Ronan weren’t speaking. As the only one without a dog in the fight, Noah felt responsible for preserving the peace.

“Oh, come on,” Gansey said, “I’m not as stuffy as all that. If being an accessory to Jane and Adam’s threesome fantasies is what makes him happy, I’m not going to judge.”

Gansey couldn’t have sounded more judgmental if he’d tried. It was possible that he had less information than Noah, but it didn’t seem likely. Of course, Gansey had a huge Ronan-shaped blind spot. Maybe Ronan was just being smart for once.

“If you aren’t judging, does that mean Blue should come here and keep Ronan out of trouble while you and Adam are in Washington?”

Gansey laughed. “Dear God. If she ever tries something that foolish, promise me you’ll put a stop to it.”

Noah shrugged. “Maybe Ronan just needs a distraction. Maybe she’s already been working her hippie sex magic on him.”

“Blue is completely unmagical. And you of all people know how unlikely that hypothetical is.”

He did know, but unlike Gansey, he didn’t think the knowledge gave him insight into this mess. “Just saying. She’s the closest thing Ronan has to maturity at this point.”

Gansey shuddered. “Fair. But if they kill each other, the blood is on your hands.”

As it turned out, Blue and Ronan didn’t need anyone’s help. Some kind of altercation at Adam’s apartment led to Blue’s conspicuous absence from their next few outings, and when Gansey tried to approach Ronan about it, he got a literal door slammed in his face.

“Unbelievable—you know, you’re really going to regret it if you screw this up for them!” He punctuated it with a kick to Ronan’s bedroom door, which was followed several seconds later by what sounded like a shoe being thrown at it from the other side. Gansey wandered over to his bed, glancing dejectedly over at Noah’s doorway. He fell onto his back and stared at the ceiling. 

“I just want them all to be happy. Does he have to destroy absolutely everything he touches?”

Noah giggled. “This is Ronan we’re talking about. And Adam isn’t Mr. Healthy Communication, either.”

Gansey muffled a grunt in his pillow. “This seems like an awful lot of trouble just because his girlfriend can’t go down on him.” 

Gansey had no idea how true that was. 

He waited for her outside 300 Fox Way. Blue came up the walk dressed in shorts and a blouse that looked like it had been stolen from the cover of a seventies folk album. The frumpiness of the latter accentuated the shortness of the former.

“Noah!” Her face lit up, and she pulled him into a tight hug. She smelled like hairspray and wildflowers. “I hope you weren’t waiting too long.”

“It’s okay, I’m good at waiting. Can we sit somewhere?”

She took him to the back yard, and he sat against the old beech tree while she went inside for some iced tea. Noah lacked the physiological responses that allowed for stammering and shaking, but he still felt the emotion of nervousness. He had to concentrate hard on the tree at his back to avoid flickering.

“If Gansey sent you here to lecture me, you can tell him where to shove his pool cue.” Blue sat down, pressing against Noah from hip to ankle. The day was so hot that she leaned into him with a happy little sigh.

“Gansey doesn’t know I’m here.” Noah tipped his head onto Blue’s shoulder. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Adam and Ronan aren’t, but they won’t say anything about it.”

“Boys,” Blue muttered venomously. Noah laughed. “Not you. I mean, I don’t know. Is it okay that I hate it when Adam and Ronan go off alone, even though he seems way more stable afterwards? And that when Adam gets short with me, I still want to ship him off to Ronan to get sorted out? Is it okay for me to be jealous when I suggested it in the first place?”

“You suggested all of you together, right? That’s different from your boyfriend dating somebody else.”

Blue snorted. “Dating, right. They’re dating like Batman and The Joker.” She was quiet for a moment. “He bites Ronan. I mean, really bites, hard enough to leave marks. Should I be upset that he never asked me, or happy that he gets to bite someone, or sad because if that’s what he likes, what does he think about sex with me?”

Noah didn’t know what the right answer was. “Does biting count as kissing?” 

“I don’t know. At least as much as deep-throating does.”

Noah could almost feel his heart pounding. He ran his finger along the inside of Blue’s arm, watching as it raised goose bumps. 

“So Adam gets to experience the wonders of oral sex, even though it’s with someone you hate. I don’t think that’s fair.”

“I don’t hate—oh.” She blushed. “If Gansey put you up to this, I’m seriously going to kill him.”

Noah grinned. She’d never believe the truth, so he didn’t bother. “Not that I’m trying to talk you into it or anything, but I really do miss it. Turns out most girls don’t want a cold, dead guy between their legs.”

“They make a sparkly vampire dildo that you can put in the freezer. You were clearly asking the wrong girls.” 

Blue was smiling, her lip caught between her teeth. Noah had a brief thought of how soft those lips would feel around him, but put it aside. As long as Blue was running around taking care of everybody, somebody had to take care of her.

“I should ask Adam first,” she said. “He might want to watch, is that okay?”

Noah was no stranger to semi-public sex in secluded corners at dorm parties, but it had never been part of the thrill. He liked the idea of eating Blue out while her boyfriend touched her, though. Ronan’s play-by-play had skipped all the best parts.

Noah kissed the inside of Blue’s wrist. “I’m down. Oh, hey, double entendre.” He let his tongue flick against Blue’s skin, and she squirmed in a really appealing way.

“Cold! That tickles.” Noah did it again, and they collapsed on each other in a fit of giggles. 

 

IV.

The call came at around two in the morning. Gansey was working on the Henrietta model when Ronan came out of his bedroom, bare-chested and barefoot with his cell pressed to his ear. 

“Of course I’m not happy, you dipshit. I told you to keep her out of…well, that’s her fault for being a—”

“ _Ronan Lynch._ ”

Gansey got to his feet, but Ronan shushed him with an upheld palm, listening intently. “No, you’re right, I’m sorry. Look, do you want me to come over or not? She shouldn’t be walking home at this time of night.”

“Ronan, give me the phone right now.” Ronan squawked, but eventually Gansey won it over. He turned away and walked to the windows. “Adam, tell me everything from the beginning.”

There was a harsh breath on the other line. “Give the phone back to Ronan. This doesn’t concern you.” 

His voice sounded wrecked, like he’d been crying. Gansey’s stomach turned to ice.

“It concerns me because I don’t trust Ronan and Jane in a car together. Now tell me what’s going on.”

There was a pause, and Gansey thought he could hear someone sniffling in the background. “Just send someone over. Blue needs a ride on a fucking white horse.”

Adam hung up. Gansey swore, long and effusive, and Ronan’s tight mouth threatened to break into a smile.

“Before you ask, this isn’t my fault.” Ronan sat down on Gansey’s bed and put his head in his hands. “If he’d done like I told him and not treated his girlfriend like his freaky fuckbuddy, she wouldn’t have flipped her shit.”

He ran his hand restlessly over his cropped hair. Gansey couldn’t bring himself to be angry.

“I’m going to drive over there,” Gansey said. “Is there anything I need to know?”

Ronan’s eyes were blue like fire. “Don’t let her leave. He’s shit at showing it, but he really loves her.”

Blue was sitting on the stairs, shivering in a sleeveless dress, when Gansey pulled up. She flung herself into the Pig and slammed the door hard enough that Gansey’s teeth rattled.

“Do you need me to take you home?”

“No.” The expression on her face could have curdled milk, and her eyes were red and puffy. Gansey was tempted to pull her into a hug, but Blue didn’t seem like the type to cry on people.

“Do you want me to drive around until you can come back here?”

Blue sniffed. “Can we just drive around?”

They were halfway to the interstate when she slammed her fist against the dashboard. The glove compartment popped open and spewed its contents at her feet, but she didn’t react.

“He only wants me for sex.”

She said it as if it were indisputable fact. Gansey took a deep breath and let it out. 

“I think sex is easier for him than feelings. That doesn’t mean he has none. He cares about you a lot, Jane.”

Blue laughed. “Is that why he’d—he’d rather pin me down and _fuck_ me, than let me hold him after a nightmare?”

Gansey thought of how many times he’d watched Adam go still, every part of his body shrinking from contact. His chest tightened, and he suddenly couldn’t find the appropriate words.

“He’s frightened of anything he perceives as a weakness. Cuddling included, unfortunately.” Gansey let out an exhausted laugh. “I didn’t know he had nightmares.”

“How could he not?” Blue stared out at the trees, worrying one of the pendants around her neck. They were silent for a few exits, Adam’s wounded eyes and fierce, inscrutable strength specters between them. 

“I get where you’re coming from,” Gansey said. “I was scared of Ronan’s nightmares long before one of them crawled out and tried to kill me.” That made Blue laugh, and Gansey felt the tension in his stomach unwinding. “I know he locks his door so that nothing can get out, but I thought for a long time that he just didn’t want me getting in.”

“PTSD sure is great. Maybe we should just let them be pigheaded together.”

She was leaning her head against the window. Gansey wondered if she’d slept at all, watching Adam thrash around in a cold sweat. 

“Am I being stupid, Gansey? I just…” Blue sniffed. “I love him. I want to make it better, but I don’t know how.”

Her voice shook, and her accent was getting more pronounced. In that moment, Gansey knew there was an ache in her chest that wouldn’t fade, and how much it hurt to have Adam push her away. He took his hand off the wheel and laid it on the smooth skin of Blue’s shoulder. 

“Oh, Jane.” She didn’t pull away, so he moved his hand up to rest against the back of her neck. Her hair tickled his palm, and she sighed when his thumb brushed against her rapid pulse.

“Oh, Dick. What are we doing?” 

Gansey felt the ache in his chest split wide open. She was so lovely like this, drowsy and warm and unafraid of how much she cared. If this was the creature Adam had kicked out, he was either stupid or terrified. If it was the latter, Gansey couldn’t blame him.

 _Steady, old boy,_ he told himself. 

“We’re loving too much.”

 

V.

Well, this was fucking golden.

Ronan paced the length of Gansey’s bedroom, waiting for his phone to ring or the door to crash open. Gansey would yell, Blue would cry, and Adam would never speak to him again. He’d ruined everything for everyone, just like Declan always said he would.

None of it had been worth this—not the way Adam’s breath caught when he came, the bite of his nails into Ronan’s shoulders, the mere seconds of peace that passed over his face in the post-orgasm slump. Ronan had actually been stupid enough to think he was making it better. 

“Gansey’s good at this.” Noah had been standing there for a while, watching him wear grooves in the floor. “Damage control. People don’t want to make him unhappy.”

Ronan laughed. “Except for the two people he’s currently working on.” He fell back onto Gansey’s bed. “God. I sure know how to pick ‘em, don’t I?”

“I don’t think it’s about picking. Not with them.”

Ronan sighed. “How’d you get so smart, dead boy?”

“Watching.” Noah stretched out on the bed next to him. Even the air around him was icy against Ronan’s bare skin. “First the three of you, and then Blue.”

“Four of us.” 

Noah turned to look at him, his eyes unblinking and as light as water. “Come on, man,” Ronan said. “You’re part of it too.”

Noah smiled, bright and fragile. “Fine. Four of us and Blue.” His eyes were actually pretty creepy, but Ronan let him stare, overly conscious of the movement in his chest as he breathed. He tried not to shiver when Noah wriggled closer.

“Can I just…” Noah’s hand hovered above Ronan’s chest, and when Ronan nodded, he placed his palm over Ronan’s heart. 

“Thanks. I miss it sometimes.” Ronan pulled his arm free and slung it around Noah’s bony shoulders. Noah’s hand slowly warmed against his skin, and it wasn’t uncomfortable when he traced the edge of Ronan’s tattoo with his fingertip. “You know other people aren’t like this,” Noah said. “That’s why you did it, right? That’s what you want.”

Ronan felt his heart speed up under Noah’s hand. It was distressingly transparent in hindsight, from the shit he took from Adam to the talk he’d had with Noah about Blue to the way he bent over backwards making sure Gansey didn’t feel left out.

It was the first thing he’d told them, and Ronan didn’t lie.

“Are you saying…?” He turned his head, just enough to breathe against Noah’s hair. 

“Sorry, still not into penises.” Noah moved closer and tucked his face into Ronan’s neck. “This is real nice, though. Your heart’s all slow and sleepy.”

“Anytime, man.” Ronan yawned. It might have been a trick of his mind, but Noah seemed to be fading along with Ronan’s consciousness. The last thing he heard before he dozed off was Noah’s voice, muffled against his shoulder. 

“Now that you know what you want, you can fix it.” 

When the apartment door woke him up, Noah was gone. Gansey entered quietly and hung around by the door. Blue stumbled in after him, looking tiny and pitiful in Gansey’s huge fisherman sweater. She nudged Gansey in the arm, and Ronan shut his eyes again.

“Goldilocks.”

Ronan could hear the smile in Gansey’s gruff voice. “Someone's been sleeping in my bed.”

“You know I can hear you, right?” Ronan sat up and stretched. “Room enough for three, if you’d like to join me.”

Gansey gave a long-suffering sigh. “You haven’t seen Noah, have you? I offered Blue his room for the evening.”

“I’m here.” Noah crept through the door and over to where Blue stood. Frowning, he touched her face where it was still red. “You can sleep in my bed. Do you mind if I’m still in it?”

She grabbed his wrist and laid his palm against her cheek. “I’d like that very much.”

Leaning on each other, they went into Noah’s room and closed the door. Gansey stared after them like a woman in a black-and-white movie waving her soldier off at the train station. It was disgusting and pathetic and made Ronan’s stomach twist itself in knots.

“Come on,” he said, standing up and whacking Gansey in the shoulder. “The church. We’re going to fix this.”

They took the Pig because Gansey still had the keys in his hand. They parked right next to the stairs, and Gansey grabbed Ronan’s wrist as he reached for the car door. “Look, I know I’ve been a bit of a bastard about this. But I need to be able to trust you. This is more than just whatever casual thing you have with Adam.”

Ronan laughed. “Jesus, Gansey, it’s not—”

“Not just about the sex, I know. But you and Adam are friends, you’ll make it out okay. I’m not so sure about Blue.” 

Gansey sat there in the Pig with bags under his eyes and stubble on his jaw, shivering sans sweater and begging Ronan to save the relationship between the girl he loved and the boy she’d chosen instead. His selflessness hit Ronan like a punch to the gut.

Before he shut the door, Ronan tore off his sweatshirt and threw it into Gansey’s lap. He took the stairs two at a time and found Adam’s door unlocked.

Adam was sitting cross-legged on the bed, looking so calm that it was hard to imagine how he’d sounded on the phone.

“She’s with Noah,” Ronan said. He stood right next to the bed, close enough to reach out and touch. “She was upset, but she’ll get over it. I think she was just tired.”

“Please don’t lie to me.” The lines of Adam’s face were sharp and elegant in the jagged light. “We can’t do this anymore. I’ll just keep hurting her, and confusing her, and making her feel like she’s done something wrong.”

The words sank in Ronan’s stomach— _we can’t do this anymore_ —before Adam got up on his knees and grabbed Ronan by the back of the neck. And there was the passion and strength he’d been hiding, white hot in his wicked tongue and grasping hands. Ronan was once again baffled that anyone looked at Adam and saw _weakness_.

“Whoa, whoa.” Ronan held him at arm’s length, digging his fingers into Adam’s lean biceps. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m choosing you.”

Ronan laughed. “Jesus Christ, man. Way to miss the fucking point.” He stumbled away from the bed. “There are not enough people on this planet who love you, Adam Parrish. Like hell I’m going to make you _choose_.”

Adam’s eyes widened. Then he started laughing, a choked, desperate sound that made Ronan feel like he was going to be sick.

“If this is your idea of a joke, I swear to God, I never want to see your stupid fucking face again.”

Ronan wanted to throw something. “Are you for real? You think I would do that to you?”

“Everybody does, Lynch! Everybody loves me until I burn the toast again, or I stand in the way again, or I refuse to let Gansey buy me out again, or I have the nerve to want to fuck my girlfriend because it feels like my bones are going to shatter if I can’t ground myself.” His fists were clenched in the sheets, and Ronan could see his hands shaking. 

“See, that’s why it works. You shouldn’t have to give her up because she doesn’t get the sex thing. And you shouldn’t have to give the sex thing up because you love Blue more than me. Fuck, you could have all of us in bed if you wanted. We’d move mountains for you if you’d just open your fucking eyes.”

“When did I say I love Blue more?”

After a long, breathless moment, Adam stood. “You’re a fantastic idiot, Ronan Lynch.” His hands were cool against Ronan’s burning face, his fingers tracing cheekbones and eyebrows and scars from old fights. “This is such a stupid idea.” His lips were soft against Ronan’s, his hands cradling Ronan’s jaw like he was something precious and fragile. 

“What was that for?” Ronan managed to ask. 

“You looked like you needed to be kissed.”

Ronan pulled him into a tight hug, both of them swaying on their feet. “Come back to Monmouth,” he murmured against Adam’s neck. “Just for tonight, so you don’t have to be alone.”

Adam clenched his hands in Ronan’s shirt. “If Blue wants to talk about feelings, I’m throwing Gansey at her.”

Ronan laughed. “Wait two minutes before you come down, okay?”

Gansey had fallen asleep in the driver’s seat. He jolted when Ronan knocked on the window, and rolled it down as he reached for his glasses. Ronan propped his elbows through the open window.

“This is your shot, dude. You want in?”

Gansey blinked groggily. “In what?”

Ronan couldn’t keep from smiling. “The orgy, dumbass. _Menage a cinq_. Whatever the fuck you call five dipshits who are too codependent to functionally date anybody else.”

That woke him up. “Oh. _Oh_. How on earth did you—no, I know exactly how on earth you got Adam to agree to a menage a whatever.” His narrowed eyes lingered on Ronan’s kiss-bruised mouth. Ronan’s smile widened.

“Come on, Adam and Blue could both use an extra handler. And I do mean that in the filthiest way possible.”

“And what about you?” 

“Well, you’ve always handled me better than anybody else.” Leaning down so that his head was half in the window, Ronan hooked a finger down the front of Gansey’s sweatshirt ( _his_ sweatshirt, fuck it if that wasn’t the hottest thing in the world) and tugged him close. He tasted like mint and the sheets Ronan had just been sleeping on, and his glasses dug awkwardly into Ronan’s face, and Ronan couldn’t believe they’d gone two years without doing this.

Adam found them making out through the window of the Camaro with Ronan bent over like a cheap whore. He smacked Ronan’s ass.

“I want to state up front that this is a one-night thing. I’m still not moving in with you.”

Gansey chewed on his swollen lip. “The sex, or the sleeping at Monmouth?”

“Monmouth,” Adam said. “I mean, unless the sex is really awful.”

Gansey nodded. “And what about the stuff other than sex?”

Adam’s eyes darted over to Ronan. “Let’s cross that bridge when we get to it.”

He made his way to the passenger door. Ronan waited until they’d pulled out of the parking lot and Gansey’s eyes were on the road to start playing his fingers along the back of Adam’s neck. When they were halfway there, Adam let his hand rest over Gansey’s on the gear shift. 

Monmouth was dark and silent on their return. Before anybody hit the lights, Ronan pushed Adam against Gansey’s chest and kissed him. Gansey quickly got into it, his hands colliding with Ronan’s along Adam’s body. 

“You’ve got to let somebody else be in the middle for once,” Adam muttered. Gansey laughed and tugged them both close.

“As much as I’d like that, someone should probably inform Jane of the proceedings.”

He hit the lights. Ronan peeled himself off, leaving the other two kissing like they’d just invented it. He didn’t bother knocking, just threw the door open and stuck his head inside.

“Wake up, Sargent. You’re missing the orgy.”

Blue untangled herself from the sheets and sat up. “What did you just call me?”

Noah pouted. “Hey, how come I’m not invited?”

“Not really your scene, man. Too much dick, of both the upper and lower case varieties.”

It took Blue a moment to parse this. “Orgy? Like, sex orgy. With dicks. Gansey’s dick. Oh, lord in heaven.” She flung the sheets back and marched over to the door. The top of her sleep-ruffled hair barely made it to Ronan’s armpit.

“This is your doing, isn’t it? You’ve convinced them that group sex is better than communicating like adults and actually dealing with relationship problems!”

When she was angry, Blue flushed the same way she did when she was horny. It never failed to amuse Ronan. “Are you saying you don’t want to watch?”

Her scowl faded slightly. “Are Adam and Gansey kissing right now?”

Ronan gave her his filthiest grin. Blue nearly bowled him over as she scrambled into the next room.

As it turned out, orgies were a logistical bitch. They mostly took turns until everyone had come at least once (Blue had a distinct anatomical advantage, and made it to four or five before they had to call in Noah for backup). There were a lot of hands and mouths and intrusive elbows and unfamiliar body fluids. They discovered that Adam really liked pulling Gansey’s hair, Gansey swore like a fucking demon with a couple of fingers in his ass, and Ronan needed to have two guys coming on him, like, yesterday. 

When they’d finally exhausted themselves, they squirmed around in the pile of sweaty limbs until everyone was wrapped around someone else. Ronan was spooned behind Adam, who was draped over Gansey’s chest. Noah and Blue were curled up in a similar position.

“Well, it looks like those sketchy websites were right about boys’ boarding schools,” Blue said.

Gansey laughed and carded his fingers through her hair. “Jane, you’re despicable. Adam, why didn’t you tell me your girlfriend was such a pervert?” 

“I was being polite.” Adam found Blue’s hand on Gansey’s chest and wound their fingers together. “Besides, she’s your girlfriend now.”

Ronan and Gansey both stopped breathing. Blue sputtered indignantly, but Adam cut her off. "Which I guess makes me your boyfriend now, too."

Gansey started laughing. "So, not awful?"

"Not awful," Adam said. "But I'm still not moving in."

“I told you,” Noah said gleefully, reaching across the bed to poke Ronan in the forehead. “Didn’t I tell you?”

Adam turned around to look questioningly at Ronan. Ronan kissed the crease between his eyebrows, just because he could.

It would only be a matter of time before Adam changed his mind.


End file.
